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Posts Tagged ‘Emotional Intelligence’

Distract Yourself or Think It Over? Two Ways to Deal With Negative Emotions

Posted by Sun on May 24, 2012

ScienceDaily (July 5, 2011) — A big part of coping with life is having a flexible reaction to the ups and downs. Now, a study which will be published in an upcoming issue of Psychological Science, a journal of the Association for Psychological Science, finds that people choose to respond differently depending on how intense an emotion is. When confronted with high-intensity negative emotions, they tend to choose to turn their attention away, but with something lower-intensity, they tend to think it over and neutralize the feeling that way.

Emotions are useful — for example, fear tells your body to get ready to escape or fight in a dangerous situation. But emotions can also become problematic — for example, for people with depression who can’t stop thinking about negative thoughts, says Gal Sheppes of Stanford University, who cowrote the study with Stanford colleagues Gaurav Suri and James J. Gross, and Susanne Scheibe of the University of Groningen. “Luckily, our emotions can be adjusted in various ways,” he says.

Sheppes and his colleagues studied two main ways that people modulate their emotions; by distracting themselves or by reappraising the situation. For example, if you’re in the waiting room at the dentist, you might distract yourself from the upcoming unpleasantness by reading about celebrity breakups — “Maybe that’s why the magazines are there in the first place,” Sheppes says — or you might talk yourself through it: “I say, OK, I have to undergo this root canal, but it will make my health better, and it will pass, and I’ve done worse things, and I can remind myself that I’m OK.”

While many previous studies directly instructed people to employ different strategies and measured their consequences, the researchers wanted to know which regulation strategies people choose for themselves when confronted with negative situations of mild and strong intensity.

In one experiment, participants chose how to regulate negative emotions induced by pictures that produce a low-intensity emotion and some that produce high-intensity emotion — a picture of a snake in the grass, for example, should give you low-intensity fear, while a picture of a snake attacking with an open mouth should be more intense.

In another experiment, participants chose how to regulate their anxiety while anticipating unpredictable electric shocks, but they were told before each shock whether it would be of low intensity or more painful shock. Before the experiments, the participants were trained on the two strategies, distraction and reappraisal, and during the experiments, they talked about which strategy they were using at which time.

In both experiments, when the negative emotion was low-intensity, participants preferred to reappraise — think through it, telling themselves why it wasn’t so bad. But when high-intensity emotions arose, they preferred to distract themselves.

It’s helpful to understand which strategies healthy people choose to regulate their emotions in different contexts, Sheppes says, because it seems like people with depression and anxiety disorders might have those problems partially because it is hard for them to flexibly modulate their emotions to differing situational demands. “Maybe they need to learn when and when not to engage,” he says.


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Resilient People More Satisfied With Life

Posted by Sun on May 23, 2012

ScienceDaily (May 23, 2012) — When confronted with adverse situations such as the loss of a loved one, some people never fully recover from the pain. Others, the majority, pull through and experience how the intensity of negative emotions (e.g. anxiety, depression) grows dimmer with time until they adapt to the new situation. A third group is made up of individuals whose adversities have made them grow personally and whose life takes on new meaning, making them feel stronger than before.

Researchers at the Basic Psychology Unit at Universitat Autònoma de Barcelona analyzed the responses of 254 students from the Faculty of Psychology in different questionnaires. The purpose was to evaluate their level of satisfaction with life and find connections between their resilience and their capacity of emotional recovery, one of the components of emotional intelligence which consists in the ability to control one’s emotions and those of others.

Research data shows that students who are more resilient, 20% of those surveyed, are more satisfied with their lives and are also those who believe they have control over their emotions and their state of mind. Resilience therefore has a positive prediction effect on the level of satisfaction with one’s life.

“Some of the characteristics of being resilient can be worked on and improved, such as self-esteem and being able to regulate one’s emotions. Learning these techniques can offer people the resources needed to help them adapt and improve their quality of life”, explains Dr Joaquín T Limonero, professor of the UAB Research Group on Stress and Health at UAB and coordinator of the research.

Published recently in Behavioral Psychology, the study included the participation of UAB researcher Jordi Fernández Castro; professors of the Gimbernat School of Nursing (a UAB-affiliated centre) Joaquín Tomás-Sábado and Amor Aradilla Herrera; and psychologist and researcher of Egarsat, M. José Gómez-Romero.

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Emotional Intelligence Predicts Job Performance

Posted by Sun on May 23, 2012

ScienceDaily (Oct. 27, 2010) — Emotional intelligence is a strong predictor of job performance, according to a new study conducted at Virginia Commonwealth University that helps settle the ongoing debate in a much-disputed area of research.

“The Relation Between Emotional Intelligence and Job Performance: A Meta-Analysis,” which has been published online by the Journal of Organizational Behavior and will appear in a future issue of the journal, builds upon years of existing studies in the area of emotional intelligence, which is a measure of someone’s ability to understand the emotions of themselves and others. The resulting analysis indicates that high emotional intelligence does have a relationship to strong job performance — in short, emotionally intelligent people make better workers.

The study was conducted at the VCU School of Business by Ernest H. O’Boyle Jr., who received his Ph.D. in management at VCU and is now an assistant professor of management at Longwood University; Ronald H. Humphrey, professor of management at VCU; Jeffrey M. Pollack, who received his Ph.D. in management at VCU and is now an assistant professor of management at the University of Richmond; Thomas H. Hawver, a Ph.D. candidate in management at VCU; and Paul A. Story, who received his Ph.D. in psychology at VCU and is now a visiting professor of psychology at the College of William & Mary.

Humphrey edited a 2008 book in the field, “Affect and Emotion: New Directions in Management Theory and Research,” and is the author of “Modern Leadership: Traditional Theories and New Approaches,” which is forthcoming in 2011 from SAGE Publishers.

Richard Boyatzis, a professor at Case Western Reserve University and co-author of the bestselling book “Primal Leadership,” said the study represented an important step forward in understanding emotional intelligence and its role in the workplace and elsewhere.

“Emotional intelligence is a field of study characterized by contradicting claims, models and methods,” said Boyatzis, who has been studying emotional intelligence (EI) since 1970. “But the meta-analysis by O’Boyle, Humphrey, Pollack, Hawver and Story lends light where there has been darkness. They took an impressively comprehensive view of EI and amassed a much larger collection of studies linking EI to intelligence, personality and job performance. This will be a source of inspiration to scholars and a guide for those lost in the confusing morass of claims, critiques and posturing.”

The study’s authors summarized all published research in the field of emotional intelligence and used the latest statistical analysis techniques to examine the accumulated data and to control for publication bias. The study explored the three prominent testing procedures of emotional intelligence and found that each reliably predicts job performance based on empirical data.

“Emotional intelligence has attracted considerable attention in business settings as well as in the community at large, but many academic scholars dispute the legitimacy of emotional intelligence, especially some of the more exaggerated claims made about it,” said Neal Ashkanasy, professor of management at the University of Queensland and editor-in-chief of the Journal of Organizational Behavior.

“By analyzing the numerous studies of emotional intelligence that have been conducted over the last decade, the authors of this article provide an evidence-based account of emotional intelligence, where it works and where it doesn’t. And, most importantly, which of the various versions of emotional intelligence work the best. This will prove to be a valuable tool for academic researchers, as well as business consultants and managers.”

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Emotional Intelligence And The Use Of Tobacco And Cannabis

Posted by Sun on May 23, 2012

ScienceDaily (Nov. 2, 2007) — The term Emotional Intelligence could be defined as the capacity to perceive, comprehend and regulate one’s own emotions and those of others so as to be able to distinguish between emotions and use this information as a guide for one’s thoughts and actions. One of the important benefits of developing this type of intelligence is the ability to learn how to interact with others and to face an ever changing social and cultural world more effectively.

The Stress and Health Research Group (GIES) of the UAB Department of General, Development and Educational Psychology has carried out a research entitled “Perceived emotional intelligence and its relation to tobacco and cannabis use among university students”.The objective of this research consisted in analysing the possible relation between EI and the use of tobacco and cannabis among 133 UAB psychology students with an average age of 21.5.

According to the research, students who had started smoking either tobacco or cannabis at a younger age and who regularly smoked these substances obtained lower scores in questions related to emotional regulation. Thus students who are less able to regulate their emotional state are more tempted to consume tobacco and/or cannabis and regular consumption of these substances is a way of making up for this emotional shortage.

The level of emotional comprehension also seems to be related to the sporadic use of cannabis, since those who consumed less were the ones who scored highest in this category. In other words, young people who clearly comprehend the emotions they are experiencing, together with the situations in which they appear, are also those who consume less amounts of cannabis.

The study however did not reveal any relation between emotional perception and the use of these substances.

The results of the study indicate that a relation exists between some EI components and the use of tobacco and/or cannabis. Personal abilities are a key element in adapting to the demands of each person’s surroundings and, in addition to actions addressed to preventing first contacts with drugs and their consolidation among people, developing one’s EI could help prevent teenagers from the temptation of taking drugs.

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Predicting Academic Strength Emotionally

Posted by Sun on May 23, 2012

ScienceDaily (June 28, 2011) — It may not come as a surprise to learn that students who are good at stress management, time management, are very driven and have a strong commitment ethic are the ones that achieve greater academic success, particularly on business courses.

What is surprising is that training in those areas rarely features on the curriculum, according to a paper published in the International Journal of Economics and Business Research. The authors of the paper suggest that teaching such aspects of “emotional intelligence” alongside knowledge, cognate and transferable skills might reduce the risks that lead to the kind of global economic meltdown in which we currently find ourselves.

Chu-May Amy Yeo of Tunku Abdul Rahman College in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, and Steve Carter of Leeds Metropolitan University, UK, have investigated the characteristics of undergraduate students studying business at a large, established institution in Malaysia. Their work is part of an ongoing study into emotional intelligence. Their statistical analysis of survey data for a mixed age and mixed gender cohort of students revealed four areas of personal strength — stress management, time management, drive strength and commitment ethic to be good predictors of academic achievement.

Emotional intelligence (EI) emerged from concepts of social intelligence developed in the 1920s that suggest a high level of EI in an individual equates to “an ability to understand and manage people and to act wisely in human relations.” The results support the hypothesis put forward other scholars researching emotional intelligence that such factors are important in emotional and social assessment and that traditional tests of performance are constantly challenged by such insights, with important implications for the development of the curriculum for many different course types. The results also showed that the older the student, the more they were able to deal with emotions like self-esteem, stress management, commitment ethic, empathy, comfort, assertion and aggression. Again, this is perhaps not surprising, but hard evidence has not necessarily existed in this area until now.

The team suggests that their findings are timely given society’s current ills. “One of the practical implications for industry and commerce would be that a more holistic extracurricular activity, encompassing the ability to handle stress and self-management, for example, should be at the forefront of corporate planning and development,” they say.

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Leaders of the Pack Display High ‘Emotional Intelligence

Posted by Sun on May 23, 2012

ScienceDaily (Sep. 21, 2010) — The ability to understand emotions is a key ingredient in people who become leaders in groups with no formal authority, a new paper has found.

The findings come through two different studies using commerce students. Study participants were given an emotional ability test as part of the study, as well as a self-analysis of their emotional skills. Then, they organized themselves into small groups or were randomly assigned to small groups and were given a group project to do.

At the end of the project they were asked to identify whom they thought had shown the greatest leadership. Those identified by their peers as leaders scored high on the emotional ability test, which included tasks such as identifying emotions in faces in a photograph, and rating the effectiveness of different emotion regulation strategies. People’s perceptions of their own emotional skills, however, did not predict leadership as reliably.

The study adds to evidence that emotional intelligence is a separate trait from other leadership qualities such as having cognitive intelligence and being cooperative, open to ideas, and conscientious.

“Traditionally we’ve had the assumption that leaders have high IQ, are gregarious individuals, or happen to be dominant personalities,” says researcher Stéphane Côté, a professor at the University of Toronto’s Rotman School of Management and one of four researchers involved with the study.

“But this shows it’s not just about these traditional factors,” says Prof. Côté. “It’s also about being able to process other people’s emotions. Anybody who wants to pursue a position of leadership and power can benefit from these abilities.”

The study was published In the June 2010 issue of Leadership Quarterly and was co-authored by Paulo N. Lopes of the Catholic University of Portugal, Peter Salovey of Yale University, and Christopher T.H. Miners of Queen’s University.

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Emotionally Intelligent People Are Less Good at Spotting Liars

Posted by Sun on May 22, 2012

ScienceDaily (May 18, 2012) — People who rate themselves as having high emotional intelligence (EI) tend to overestimate their ability to detect deception in others. This is the finding of a paper published in the journal Legal and Criminological Psychologyon18 May 2012.

Professor Stephen Porter, director of the Centre for the Advancement of Psychological Science and Law at University of British Columbia, Canada, along with colleagues Dr. Leanne ten Brinke and Alysha Baker used a standard questionnaire to measure the EI of 116 participants.

These participants were then asked to view 20 videos from around the world of people pleading for the safe return of a missing family member. In half the videos the person making the plea was responsible for the missing person’s disappearance or murder.

The participants were asked to judge whether the pleas were honest or deceptive, say how much confidence they had in their judgements, report the cues they had used to make those judgements and rate their emotional response to each plea.

Professor Porter found that higher EI was associated with overconfidence in assessing the sincerity of the pleas and sympathetic feelings towards people in the videos who turned out to be responsible for the disappearance.

Although EI, in general, was not associated with being better or worse at discriminating between truths and lies, people with a higher ability to perceive and express emotion (a component of EI) were not so good at spotting when people were telling lies.

Professor Porter says: “Taken together, these findings suggest that features of emotional intelligence, and the decision-making processes they lead to, may have the paradoxical effect of impairing people’s ability to detect deceit.

“This finding is important because EI is a well-accepted concept and is used in a variety of domains, including the workplace.”

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Emotional intelligence

Posted by Sun on March 11, 2012

Ever since the publication of Daniel Goleman’s first book on the topic in 1995, emotional intelligence has become one of the hottest buzzwords in corporate America. Many business leaders have found compelling the basic idea that success is strongly influenced by personal qualities such as perseverance, self-control, and skill in getting along with others. They point to sales persons who have an uncanny ability to sense what is most important to the customers and to develop a trusting relationship with them. They also point to customer service employees who excel when it comes to helping angry customers calm down and be more reasonable. Conversely, they point to brilliant executives who do everything well except get along with people, and to managers who are technically brilliant but cannot handle stress, and whose careers are stalled because of these deficiencies.

Many studies have confirmed that the so-called ‘soft skills’ are critical for a vital economy. For instance, the influential report of the United States Secretary of Labor’s Commission on Achieving Necessary Skills argued that a high-performance workplace requires workers who have a solid foundation not only in literacy and computation, but also in personal qualities such as responsibility, self-esteem, sociability, self-management, integrity, and honesty (Secretary’s Commission on Achieving Necessary Skills, 1991). Emotional intelligence is the basis for these competencies.

But what exactly is ‘emotional intelligence’? What is the link between emotional intelligence and organisational effectiveness? Is it possible for adults to become more socially and emotionally competent? And finally, what is the best way to help individuals to do so?

What Is Emotional Intelligence and Why Is It Important?

Emotional intelligence is the ability to accurately identify and understand one’s own emotional reactions and those of others. It also includes the ability to regulate one’s emotions and to use them to make good decisions and act effectively. EI provides the bedrock for many competencies that are critical for effective performance in the workplace. For instance, one’s effectiveness in influencing others depends on one’s ability to connect with them on an emotional level, and to understand what they are feeling and why. To effectively influence others we also need to be able to manage our own emotions.

Can Adults Become More Emotionally Intelligent?

Many managers and executives who accept the notion that emotional intelligence is vital for success are less certain about whether it can be improved. On the other hand, there are consultants and trainers who claim that they can raise the emotional intelligence of a whole group of employees in a day or less. Who is right? The truth lies somewhere in between. A growing body of research suggests that it is possible to help people of any age to become more emotionally adept at work. However, to be effective, programmes need to be well designed, and the change effort requires months, not hours or days.

Several examples of effective change programmes can be found in the Model Programs section of the CREIO website ( These models, all of which have undergone rigorous evaluation, show that well-designed training and development interventions can produce significant improvements in the so-called ‘soft skills’, and these improvements in turn result in greater productivity and reduced costs. Unfortunately, while it is possible to improve workers’ emotional competence, it is not easy to do so. Many programmes intended for this purpose fail because they are poorly designed and implemented.

What Is the Best Way to Improve Emotional Intelligence?

To be effective, change efforts need to begin with the realisation that emotional learning differs from cognitive and technical learning in some important ways. Emotional capacities like self-confidence and empathy differ from cognitive abilities because they draw on different brain areas. Purely cognitive abilities are based in the neocortex. But with social and emotional competencies, additional brain areas are involved, mainly the circuitry that runs from the emotional centres to the prefrontal lobes. Effective learning for emotional competence has to retune these circuits.

Unfortunately, these particular neural circuits are especially difficult to modify. Emotional incompetence often results from habits learned early in life. These automatic habits are set in place as a normal part of living, as experience shapes the brain. As people acquire their habitual repertoire of thought, feeling, and action, the neural connections that support these are strengthened, becoming dominant pathways for nerve impulses. When these habits have been so heavily learned, the underlying neural circuitry becomes the brain’s default option at any moment—what a person does automatically and spontaneously, often with little awareness of choosing to do so.

Because the neural circuits that need to be modified extend deep into the non-verbal parts of the brain, the learning ultimately must be experiential. Learning to control one’s temper, for instance, is like learning to ride a bicycle. Understanding what needs to be done on a cognitive level only helps to a limited degree. It is only by getting on a bike and riding it, falling over, and trying again repeatedly, that one ultimately masters the skill. The same is true for most emotional learning. It usually involves a long and sometimes difficult process requiring much practice and support. One-day seminars just won’t do it.

Implications for Training and Development

Because emotional learning differs from cognitive learning in a number of ways, training and development efforts need to incorporate a number of elements. Below are some of the most important ones:

  1. Practice: There needs to be much more opportunity for practice than one normally sees in the typical work-based training programme. Not only do there need to be many opportunities during the training itself, but also the learners need to practice new ways of thinking and acting in other settings—on the job, at home, with friends, etc. And this regimen needs to occur over a period of months.
  2. Ongoing encouragement and reinforcement from others: Even with ample practice during the training phase, the old neural pathways can re-establish themselves all too easily unless learners are repeatedly encouraged and reinforced to use the new skills on the job. The best change programmes continue to help participants to apply what they have learned after the formal training phase ends. They also provide periodic reinforcers and reminders to help the participants maintain the fragile new patterns of behaviour that they have so recently learned. And effective programmes provide social support to help individuals continue to work at strengthening the new competencies that they acquired in the training.
  3. Support from the boss: A learner’s bosses play an especially critical role in providing the support necessary for successful change. Reinforcement by one’s supervisor can be especially powerful in helping new emotional competencies to take root. Also, supervisors influence transfer and maintenance of new competencies indirectly by serving as powerful models.
  4. Experiential learning: In addition to sustained practice, feedback, reinforcement, and support, effective social and emotional learning needs to be based primarily on experiential activity rather than more intellectual, didactic approaches. Developing a social or emotional competency requires engagement of the emotional, non-cognitive parts of the brain.
  5. Emotionally intelligent trainers and coaches: Because the competencies involved in social and emotional learning are so central to our personal identities, special care and sensitivity is required in the way that training is presented. The personal nature of what is involved in this kind of learning also makes it critical that there be a trusting and supportive relationship between the learners and trainers. Trainers need special skills and more than a little emotional intelligence themselves.
  6. Anticipation and preparation for setbacks: Even when a training programme has all of these elements necessary for successful personal change—ample practice and support, emotionally intelligent trainers, etc.—learners will inevitably encounter setbacks. The old emotional memories and social habits will tend to reassert themselves from time to time, especially when people are under stress. Thus, effective training programmes also include ‘relapse prevention’, which refers to a set of techniques that help people to reframe slips as opportunities to learn.


Emotional intelligence can make a big difference for both individual and organisational effectiveness. However, if the current interest in promoting emotional intelligence at work is to be a serious, sustained effort, rather than just another management fad, it is important that practitioners try to utilise practices based on the best available research. Only when the training is based on sound, empirically based methods will its promise be realised.


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Emotional Intelligence in Business

Posted by Sun on March 11, 2012

The work of Salovey and Mayer would almost certainly never have become known outside of academic psychology except for one key event. The year 1995 saw the publication of the best selling book “Emotional Intelligence” by Dr Daniel Goleman’s followed three years later by “Working with Emotional Intelligence” by the same author. Both of these books were enormously influential and marked the beginning of emotional intelligence as something that was recognized by mainstream business theorists and writers.

Dr Goleman asserted that “The criteria for success at work are changing. We are being judged by a new yardstick: not just by how smart we are, or by our training and expertise, but also by how well handle ourselves and each other. This yardstick is increasingly applied in choosing who will be hired and who will not, who will be let go and who retained, who past over and who promoted…”

Goleman’s definition of emotional intelligence proposes four broad domains of EQ which consist of 19 competencies:

  • Emotional self-awareness: Reading one’s own emotions and recognizing their impact
  • Accurate self-assessment; knowing one’s strengths and limits
  • Self-confidence; a sound sense of one’s self-worth and capabilities


  • Emotional self-control: Keeping disruptive emotions and impulses under control
  • Transparency: Displaying honesty and integrity; trustworthiness
  • Adaptability: Flexibility in adapting to changing situations or overcoming obstacles
  • Achievement: The drive to improve performance to meet inner standards of excellence
  • Initiative: Readiness to act and seize opportunities
  • Optimism: Seeing the upside in events

Social Awareness

  • Empathy: Sensing others’ emotions, understanding their perspective, and taking active interest in their concerns
  • Organizational awareness: Reading the currents, decision networks, and politics at the organizational level
  • Service: Recognizing and meeting follower, client, or customer needs

Relationship Management

  • Inspirational leadership: Guiding and motivating with a compelling vision
  • Influence: Wielding a range of tactics for persuasion
  • Developing others: Bolstering others’ abilities through feedback and guidance
  • Change catalyst: Initiating, managing, and leading in a new direction
  • Conflict management: Resolving disagreements
  • Building bonds: Cultivating and maintaining a web of relationships
  • Teamwork and collaboration: Cooperation and team building

There is general agreement that the factors that Goleman and his colleagues have identified are indeed emerging as a key element of workplace success. This is because the way that most organizations work has changed in the last 20 years. There are now fewer levels of management than there were and management styles tend to be less autocratic. In addition, the move towards more knowledge based, team working and customer focused jobs means that individuals generally have more autonomy, even at fairly low levels within organizations.

If we accept that IQ plays a limited role in accounting for why some people are more successful than others, what is the evidence that emotional and social factors are important? In other words, is there a business case  emotional intelligence?


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What is Emotional Intelligence (EQ)?

Posted by Sun on March 11, 2012


For most people, emotional intelligence (EQ) is more important than one’s intelligence (IQ) in attaining success in their lives and careers. As individuals our success and the success of the profession today depend on our ability to read other people’s signals and react appropriately to them. Therefore, each one of us must develop the mature emotional intelligence skills required to better understand, empathize and negotiate with other people — particularly as the economy has become more global. Otherwise, success will elude us in our lives and careers.

“Your EQ is the level of your ability to understand other people, what motivates them and how to work cooperatively with them,” says Howard Gardner, the influential Harvard theorist. Five major categories of emotional intelligence skills are of value to professional accountants.

Understanding the Five Categories of Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

1. Self-awareness. The ability to recognize an emotion as it “happens” is the key to your EQ. Developing self-awareness requires tuning in to your true feelings. If you evaluate your emotions, you can manage them. The major elements of self-awareness are:

  • Emotional awareness. Your ability to recognize your own emotions and their effects.
  • Self-confidence. Sureness about your self-worth and capabilities.

2. Self-regulation. You often have little control over when you experience emotions. You can, however, have some say in how long an emotion will last by using a number of techniques to alleviate negative emotions such as anger, anxiety or depression. A few of these techniques include recasting a situation in a more positive light, taking a long walk and meditation or prayer. Self-regulation involves

  • Self-control. Managing disruptive impulses.
  • Trustworthiness. Maintaining standards of honesty and integrity.
  • Conscientiousness. Taking responsibility for your own performance.
  • Adaptability. Handling change with flexibility.
  • Innovation. Being open to new ideas.

3. Motivation. To motivate yourself for any achievement requires clear goals and a positive attitude. Although you may have a predisposition to either a positive or a negative attitude, you can with effort and practice learn to think more positively. If you catch negative thoughts as they occur, you can reframe them in more positive terms—which will help you achieve your goals. Motivation is made up of

  • Achievement drive. Your constant striving to improve or to meet a standard of excellence.
  • Commitment. Aligning with the goals of the group or organization.
  • Initiative. Readying yourself to act on opportunities.
  • Optimism. Pursuing goals persistently despite obstacles and setbacks.

4. Empathy. The ability to recognize how people feel is important to success in your life and career. The more skillful you are at discerning the feelings behind others’ signals the better you can control the signals you send them. An empathetic person excels at

  • Service orientation. Anticipating, recognizing and meeting clients’ needs.
  • Developing others. Sensing what others need to progress and bolstering their abilities.
  • Leveraging diversity. Cultivating opportunities through diverse people.
  • Political awareness. Reading a group’s emotional currents and power relationships.
  • Understanding others. Discerning the feelings behind the needs and wants of others.

5. Social skills. The development of good interpersonal skills is tantamount to success in your life and career. In today’s cyberculture all professional accountants can have immediate access to technical knowledge via computers. Thus, “people skills” are even more important now because you must possess a high EQ to better understand, empathize and negotiate with others in a global economy. Among the most useful skills are:

  • Influence. Wielding effective persuasion tactics.
  • Communication. Sending clear messages.
  • Leadership. Inspiring and guiding groups and people.
  • Change catalyst. Initiating or managing change.
  • Conflict management. Understanding, negotiating and resolving disagreements.
  • Building bonds. Nurturing instrumental relationships.
  • Collaboration and cooperation. Working with others toward shared goals.
  • Team capabilities. Creating group synergy in pursuing collective goals.

What factors are at play when people of high IQ fail and those of modest IQ succeed?

How well you do in your life and career is determined by both. IQ alone is not enough; EQ also matters. In fact, psychologists generally agree that among the ingredients for success, IQ counts for roughly 10% (at best 25%); the rest depends on everything else—including EQ. A study of Harvard graduates in business, law, medicine and teaching showed a negative or zero correlation between an IQ indicator (entrance exam scores) and subsequent career success. Three examples illustrate the importance of emotional competencies.


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Emotional Intelligence

Posted by Sun on March 11, 2012

What is Emotional Intelligence?

We all have different personalities, different wants and needs, and different ways of showing our emotions. Navigating through this all takes tact and cleverness – especially if we hope to succeed in life. This is where emotional intelligence becomes important.

Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize your emotions, understand what they’re telling you, and realize how your emotions affect people around you. Emotional intelligence also involves your perception of others: when you understand how they feel, this allows you to manage relationships more effectively.

People with high emotional intelligence are usually successful in most things they do. Why? Because they’re the ones that others want on their team. When people with high EI send an email, it gets answered. When they need help, they get it. Because they make others feel good, they go through life much more easily than people who are easily angered or upset.

Characteristics of Emotional Intelligence

Daniel Goleman, an American psychologist, developed a framework of five elements that define emotional intelligence:

  1. Self-Awareness – People with high emotional intelligence are usually very self-aware. They understand their emotions, and because of this, they don’t let their feelings rule them. They’re confident – because they trust their intuition and don’t let their emotions get out of control.They’re also willing to take an honest look at themselves. They know their strengths and weaknesses, and they work on these areas so they can perform better. Many people believe that this self-awareness is the most important part of emotional intelligence.
  2. Self-Regulation – This is the ability to control emotions and impulses. People who self-regulate typically don’t allow themselves to become too angry or jealous, and they don’t make impulsive, careless decisions. They think before they act. Characteristics of self-regulation are thoughtfulness, comfort with change, integrity, and the ability to say no.
  3. Motivation – People with a high degree of emotional intelligence are usually motivated. They’re willing to defer immediate results for long-term success. They’re highly productive, love a challenge, and are very effective in whatever they do.
  4. Empathy – This is perhaps the second-most important element of emotional intelligence. Empathy is the ability to identify with and understand the wants, needs, and viewpoints of those around you. People with empathy are good at recognizing the feelings of others, even when those feelings may not be obvious. As a result, empathetic people are usually excellent at managing relationships, listening, and relating to others. They avoid stereotyping and judging too quickly, and they live their lives in a very open, honest way.
  5. Social Skills – It’s usually easy to talk to and like people with good social skills, another sign of high emotional intelligence. Those with strong social skills are typically team players. Rather than focus on their own success first, they help others develop and shine. They can manage disputes, are excellent communicators, and are masters at building and maintaining relationships.

As you’ve probably determined, emotional intelligence can be a key to success in your life – especially in your career. The ability to manage people and relationships is very important in all leaders, so developing and using your emotional intelligence can be a good way to show others the leader inside of you.

How to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence

The good news is that emotional intelligence CAN be taught and developed. Many books and tests are available to help you determine your current EI, and identify where you may need to do some work. You can also use these tips:

  • Observe how you react to people. Do you rush to judgment before you know all of the facts? Do you stereotype? Look honestly at how you think and interact with other people. Try to put yourself in their place, and be more open and accepting of their perspectives and needs.
  • Look at your work environment. Do you seek attention for your accomplishments? Humility can be a wonderful quality, and it doesn’t mean that you’re shy or lack self-confidence. When you practice humility, you say that you know what you did, and you can be quietly confident about it. Give others a chance to shine – put the focus on them, and don’t worry too much about getting praise for yourself.
  • Do a self-evaluation. What are your weaknesses? Are you willing to accept that you’re not perfect and that you could work on some areas to make yourself a better person? Have the courage to look at yourself honestly – it can change your life.
  • Examine how you react to stressful situations. Do you become upset every time there’s a delay or something doesn’t happen the way you want? Do you blame others or become angry at them, even when it’s not their fault? The ability to stay calm and in control in difficult situations is highly valued – in the business world and outside it. Keep your emotions under control when things go wrong.
  • Take responsibility for your actions. If you hurt someone’s feelings, apologize directly – don’t ignore what you did or avoid the person. People are usually more willing to forgive and forget if you make an honest attempt to make things right.
  • Examine how your actions will affect others – before you take those actions. If your decision will impact others, put yourself in their place. How will they feel if you do this? Would you want that experience? If you must take the action, how can you help others deal with the effects?

Key Points

Although “regular” intelligence is important to success in life, emotional intelligence is key to relating well to others and achieving your goals. Many people believe that emotional intelligence is at least as important as regular intelligence, and many companies now use EI testing to hire new staff.

Emotional intelligence is an awareness of your actions and feelings – and how they affect those around you. It also means that you value others, listen to their wants and needs, and are able to empathize or identify with them on many different levels.


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Posted by Sun on March 11, 2012

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is a different type of intelligence. It’s about being “heart smart,” not just “book smart.” The evidence shows that emotional intelligence matters just as much as intellectual ability, if not more so, when it comes tohappiness and success in life. Emotional intelligence helps you build strong relationships, succeed at work, and achieve your goals.The skills of emotional intelligence can be developed throughout life. You can boost your own “EQ” by learning how to rapidly reduce stress, connect to your emotions, communicate nonverbally, use humor and play to deal with challenges, and defuse conflicts with confidence and self-assurance.

What is emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify, use, understand, and manage your emotions in positive and constructive ways. It’s about recognizing your own emotional state and the emotional states of others. Emotional intelligence is also about engaging with others in ways that draw people to you.

Emotional intelligence consists of four core abilities:

  • Self-awareness – The ability to recognize your own emotions and how they affect your thoughts and behavior, know your strengths and weaknesses, and have self-confidence.
  • Self-management – The ability to control impulsive feelings and behaviors, manage your emotions in healthy ways, take initiative, follow through on commitments, and adapt to changing circumstances.
  • Social awareness – The ability to understand the emotions, needs, and concerns of other people, pick up on emotional cues, feel comfortable socially, and recognize the power dynamics in a group or organization.
  • Relationship management – The ability to develop and maintain good relationships, communicate clearly, inspire and influence others, work well in a team, and manage conflict.

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) vs. Intellectual Intelligence (IQ)

Most of us have learned not to trust our emotions. We’ve been told emotions distort the more “accurate” information our intellect supplies. Even the term “emotional” has come to mean weak, out of control, and even childish. “Don’t be a baby!” we say to the little boy who is crying on the playground. “Leave him alone! Let him work it out!” we admonish the little girl who runs to help the little boy.

On the other hand, our abilities to memorize and problem-solve, to spell words and do mathematical calculations, are easily measured on written tests and slapped as grades on report cards. Ultimately, these intellectual abilities dictate which college will accept us and which career paths we‘re advised to follow.

However, intellectual intelligence (IQ) is usually less important in determining how successful we are than emotional intelligence (EQ). We all know people who are academically brilliant and yet are socially inept and unsuccessful. What they are missing is emotional intelligence.

Emotional development: How to raise your emotional intelligence

Most of us know that there is a world of difference between knowledge and behavior, or applying that knowledge to make changes in our lives. There are many things we may know and want to do, but don’t or can’t when we’re under pressure. This is especially true when it comes to emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is not learned in the standard intellectual way; it must be learned and understood on an emotional level. We can’t simply read about emotional intelligence or master it through memorization. In order to learn about emotional intelligence in a way that produces change, we need to engage the emotional parts of the brain in ways that connect us to others. This kind of learning is based on what we see, hear, and feel. Intellectual understanding is an important first step, but the development of emotional intelligence depends on sensory, nonverbal learning and real-life practice.

Developing emotional intelligence through five key skills:

Emotional intelligence consists of five key skills, each building on the last:

  • Emotional intelligence (EQ) skill 1: The ability to quickly reduce stress.
  • Emotional intelligence (EQ) skill 2: The ability to recognize and manage your emotions.
  • Emotional intelligence (EQ) skill 3: The ability to connect with others using nonverbal communication.
  • Emotional intelligence (EQ) skill 4: The ability to use humor and play to deal with challenges.
  • Emotional intelligence (EQ) skill 5: The ability to resolve conflicts positively and with confidence.

The five skills of emotional intelligence can be learned by anyone, at anytime. But there is a difference between learning about emotional intelligence and applying that knowledge to your life. Just because you know you should do something doesn’t mean you will—especially when you’re feeling stressed. This is especially true when it comes to the skills of emotional intelligence.

Raising your emotional intelligence by engaging your emotions

When you become overwhelmed by stress, the emotional parts of your brain override the rational parts—hijacking your best-laid plans, intentions, and strategies. In order to permanently change behavior in ways that stand up under pressure, you need to learn how to take advantage of the powerful emotional parts of the brain that remain active and accessible even in times of stress. This means that you can’t simply read about emotional intelligence in order to master it. You have to learn the skills on a deeper, emotional level—experiencing and practicing them in your everyday life.

Emotional intelligence (EQ) skill 1: Rapidly reduce stress

When we’re under high levels of stress, rational thinking and decision making go out the window. Runaway stress overwhelms the mind and body, getting in the way of our ability to accurately “read” a situation, hear what someone else is saying, be aware of our own feelings and needs, and communicate clearly.
The first key skill of emotional intelligence is the ability to quickly calm yourself down when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Being able to manage stress in the moment is the key to resilience. This emotional intelligence skill helps you stay balanced, focused, and in control–no matter what challenges you face.

Stress busting: functioning well in the heat of the moment

Develop your stress busting skills by working through the following three steps:

  • Realize when you’re stressed – The first step to reducing stress is recognizing what stress feels like. Many of us spend so much time in an unbalanced state that we’ve forgotten what it feels like to be calm and relaxed.
  • Identify your stress response – Everyone reacts differently to stress. Do you tend to space out and get depressed? Become angry and agitated? Freeze with anxiety? The best way to quickly calm yourself depends on your specific stress response.
  • Discover the stress busting techniques that work for you – The best way to reduce stress quickly is through the senses: through sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. But each person responds differently to sensory input, so you need to find things that are soothing to you.

Emotional intelligence (EQ) skill 2: Connect to your emotions
The second key skill of emotional intelligence is having a moment-to-moment awareness of your emotions and how they influence your thoughts and actions. Emotional awareness is the key to understanding yourself and others.

Many people are disconnected from their emotions–especially strong core emotions such as anger, sadness, fear, and joy. But although we can distort, deny, or numb our feelings, we can’t eliminate them. They’re still there, whether we’re aware of them or not. Unfortunately, without emotional awareness, we are unable to fully understand our own motivations and needs, or to communicate effectively with others.

What kind of a relationship do you have with your emotions?

  • Do you experience feelings that flow, encountering one emotion after another as your experiences change from moment to moment?
  • Are your emotions accompanied by physical sensations that you experience in places like your stomach or chest?
  • Do you experience discrete feelings and emotions, such as anger, sadness, fear, joy, each of which is evident in subtle facial expressions?
  • Can you experience intense feelings that are strong enough to capture both your attention and that of others?
  • Do you pay attention to your emotions? Do they factor into your decision making?

If any of these experiences are unfamiliar, your emotions may be turned down or turned off. In order to be emotionally healthy and emotionally intelligent, you must reconnect to your core emotions, accept them, and become comfortable with them.

Emotional intelligence skill (EQ) 3: Nonverbal communication

Being a good communicator requires more than just verbal skills. Oftentimes, what we say is less important than how we say it or the other nonverbal signals we send out. In order to hold the attention of others and build connection and trust, we need to be aware of and in control of our nonverbal cues. We also need to be able to accurately read and respond to the nonverbal cues that other people send us.

Nonverbal communication is the third skill of emotional intelligence. This wordless form of communication is emotionally driven. It asks the questions: “Are you listening?” and “Do you understand and care?” Answers to these questions are expressed in the way we listen, look, move, and react. Our nonverbal messages will produce a sense of interest, trust, excitement, and desire for connection–or they will generate fear, confusion, distrust, and disinterest.

Part of improving nonverbal communication involves paying attention to:

  • Eye contact
  • Facial expression
  • Tone of voice
  • Posture and gesture
  • Touch
  • Timing and pace

Emotional intelligence (EQ) skill 4: Use humor and play to deal with challenges

Humor, laughter, and play are natural antidotes to life’s difficulties. They lighten our burdens and help us keep things in perspective. A good hearty laugh reduces stress, elevates mood, and brings our nervous system back into balance.

The ability to deal with challenges using humor and play is the fourth skill of emotional intelligence. Playful communication broadens our emotional intelligence and helps us:

  • Take hardships in stride. By allowing us to view our frustrations and disappointments from new perspectives, laughter and play enable us to survive annoyances, hard times, and setbacks.
  • Smooth over differences. Using gentle humor often helps us say things that might be otherwise difficult to express without creating a flap.
  • Simultaneously relax and energize ourselves. Playful communication relieves fatigue and relaxes our bodies, which allows us to recharge and accomplish more.
  • Become more creative. When we loosen up, we free ourselves of rigid ways of thinking and being, allowing us to get creative and see things in new ways.

Emotional intelligence (EQ) skill 5: Resolve conflict positively

Conflict and disagreements are inevitable in relationships. Two people can’t possibly have the same needs, opinions, and expectations at all times. However, that needn’t be a bad thing! Resolving conflict in healthy, constructive ways can strengthen trust between people. When conflict isn’t perceived as threatening or punishing, it fosters freedom, creativity, and safety in relationships.

The ability to manage conflicts in a positive, trust-building way is the fifth key skill of emotional intelligence. Successfully resolving differences is supported by the previous four skills of emotional intelligence. Once you know how to manage stress, stay emotionally present and aware, communicate nonverbally, and use humor and play, you’ll be better equipped to handle emotionally-charged situations and catch and defuse many issues before they escalate.

Tips for resolving conflict in a trust-building way:

  • Stay focused in the present. When we are not holding on to old hurts and resentments, we can recognize the reality of a current situation and view it as a new opportunity for resolving old feelings about conflicts.
  • Choose your arguments. Arguments take time and energy, especially if you want to resolve them in a positive way. Consider what is worth arguing about and what is not.
  • Forgive. If you continue to be hurt or mistreated, protect yourself. But someone else’s hurtful behavior is in the past, remember that conflict resolution involves giving up the urge to punish.
  • End conflicts that can’t be resolved. It takes two people to keep an argument going. You can choose to disengage from a conflict, even if you still disagree.


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What Is Emotional Intelligence?

Posted by Sun on March 7, 2012

Emotional intelligence (EI) refers to the ability to perceive, control and evaluate emotions. Some researchers suggest that emotional intelligence can be learned and strengthened, while others claim it is an inborn characteristic.

Since 1990, Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer have been the leading researchers on emotional intelligence. In their influential article “Emotional Intelligence,” they defined emotional intelligence as, “the subset of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions” (1990).

The Four Branches of Emotional Intelligence

Salovey and Mayer proposed a model that identified four different factors of emotional intelligence: the perception of emotion, the ability reason using emotions, the ability to understand emotion and the ability to manage emotions.

1. Perceiving Emotions: The first step in understanding emotions is to accurately perceive them. In many cases, this might involve understanding nonverbal signals such as body language and facial expressions.

2. Reasoning With Emotions: The next step involves using emotions to promote thinking and cognitive activity. Emotions help prioritize what we pay attention and react to; we respond emotionally to things that garner our attention.

3. Understanding Emotions: The emotions that we perceive can carry a wide variety of meanings. If someone is expressing angry emotions, the observer must interpret the cause of their anger and what it might mean. For example, if your boss is acting angry, it might mean that he is dissatisfied with your work; or it could be because he got a speeding ticket on his way to work that morning or that he’s been fighting with his wife.

4. Managing Emotions: The ability to manage emotions effectively is a key part of emotional intelligence. Regulating emotions, responding appropriately and responding to the emotions of others are all important aspect of emotional management.

According to Salovey and Mayer, the four branches of their model are, “arranged from more basic psychological processes to higher, more psychologically integrated processes. For example, the lowest level branch concerns the (relatively) simple abilities of perceiving and expressing emotion. In contrast, the highest level branch concerns the conscious, reflective regulation of emotion” (1997).


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Emotions in Self Control

Posted by Sun on August 18, 2011

Emotions in terms of anger, jealousy, happiness and sadness are just some of the aspects of life that one has to deal with. Emotions are a reaction to physical stimuli that the mind perceives. The intensity of the emotions depends upon the strength of the stimuli. Usually when the mind is threatened by too much intensity of a stimuli it has a tendency to react with emotions matching the intensity of the stimulus. Thus, it becomes necessary to regulate emotions so that they do not prove detrimental to the self.

Your emotional intelligence or the E.I. quotient measures the ability to controlling ones emotions in a   stressful situations. It particularly seeks to monitor your anger and depression to enable your self-control over these emotions. The self is dependent upon the mind and emotions as the perfect balance between the mind and the emotions actually determines the well-being of the self.

To explain the self-dynamics it is important to understand how mind and emotions function together.    The mind is the realm of logic and reasoning. It is the theoretical basis of making a sound judgment in order to achieve goals or objectives successfully. Emotional judgment is often inaccurate and may not lead the individual to achieve the goal. Therefore, whenever making a decision it is necessary to maintain mind over emotions. No matter how strong ones anger is against a particular person or situation, in a formal setting like the office environment it is necessary to maintain a sense of peace and calm as regarding your emotions. The self is represented through your personality, so if you have a balance between your mind and emotions you should be able to enjoy a stress free life. This would enable you to express your self much more optimistically and develop a positive sense of development.

Since the mind plays a key role is directing emotions to a positive direction, one may ask as to how to we strengthen the faculties of the mind? The answer is just one keyword i.e. healthy living. Living a healthy lifestyle is not only conducive to the development of the mind for controlling your self, but a healthy lifestyle is characteristic of the development of a positive mind set. Thus, it is the first step that one takes to controlling the self. Healthy living means adequate nutrition, exercise, positive social relationships and time management.

Firstly, in terms of nutrition it is necessary to eat a healthy balanced diet that is full of proteins, fats, vitamins and carbohydrates. One must control eating habits. Eating junk foods or other unhealthy foods rich in fat causes imbalances.  Food is the true essence when it comes to testing your self-control capabilities. Sometimes it is necessary to go on a diet to allow your digestive system to relax. Try to substitute caffeinated drinks such as tea, coffee and fizzy drinks with fruits, in order to improve your concentration and ability to handle stress much better.
Secondly, Exercise plays an important part of controlling yourself. In particular, mental exercise enhances your mind and enables greater control over emotions.

Alternative forms of exercise such as yoga can enable improved concentration, thus strengthening the faculties of the mind and enhancing greater self-control.

Thirdly, one should always be up for social relationships. Loneliness is one of the major causes of depression, which leads the individual into a negative self-concept about himself. By being socially aware a person develops, a sense of positive self-concept about himself and the interactions amongst peers creates a social value amongst his social circle.

Therefore, in order to achieve self-control it is necessary to maintain a balance between your mind and emotions in order to be able to achieve goals without any stress or anxiety. Seeking balance is easy when you develop E.I.


I am medical doctor and hypnotherapist with more than 17 years experience. Feel free to send me email ( to discuss your situation.

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